An open letter 2.0...
The PR leprechaun himself, Tom Murphy, urges us all to read an open letter from US PR agency owner Geri Denterlein (a name which sounds to us like some sort of oral hygeine product) to her clients, past, present and future. Murphy's request comes at the end of a little (and entirely justified) rant about how so-called PR blogs are nothing of the sort...they're blog blogs, full of rubbish about the newest Web 2.0 widget. It's rather like picking up a copy of your favourite PR magazine (should you have one) and finding an article about the latest printing technology...or how best to attach address labels to thin sellophane wrappers. Not very interesting.
Anyway, back to Denterlein's letter. Murphy's right, it should be read. Thing is, it'll be read by the wrong people. Clients won't see it...instead, it'll be read by PR people who'll nod so violently that another £300 pair of sunglasses will crash to the floor.
The only thing you can do is take your balls in the one hand and email a link to your clients with the other. But that won't work either. Because it's too long. It stretches to two whole pages online and nobody's going to read that.
So, ever helpful as we are, TWL has prepared a version designed for these attention deficit disorder driven days. We feel that we've captured the essence of Denterlein's letter in a time-saving format. Here you go - feel free to distribute widely:
I know my stuff. I know why you want to do PR. What you need to understand is that we’re unlikely to generate you any coverage because you’re unlikely to have anything newsworthy to say, or have the bollocks to say it. On the off-chance we do manage to convince a journalist to write a small piece about your sad little company, you need to go crazy and shower us with platitudes and money. It’s worth more than any piece of advertising you can buy. And because we’re unlikely to generate any coverage, why don’t you pay us to do some other stuff too?
Like it? What's that..? Still too long..?
Stick this in your Twitter and smoke it:
Let’s not make each other’s lives more shit than they already are. I’ll do my best, fail gallantly and fall on my sword to make you look good. Don’t break my balls too much.