31 August 2006

Isn’t it ironic….

Older readers may remember David Baddiel’s rant about Alanis Morissette’s lyrics to Ironic – including the line that went something like “it’s like Rainier, on your wedding day” – being anything other than ironic. Indeed, it being just plain wrong.

Well….

One of technology’s nicest journos – the very lovely Doctor Mark Samuels – has been revelling in the glory of his new found fame, having been officially announced as the new editor of Computing Business.

The usual brown-nosing compliments from PR companies followed, with the exception of Rainier PR who managed to wildly insult the poor fella.

In a clumsy attempt to update its regulars with the latest media gossip, Rainier embellished a cut-n-paste of the announcement from FeaturesExec with some nudge-nudge-wink-wink nonsense about Mark having “slipped past bouncers to attend a Rainier PR party at London's Floridita despite wearing a dodgy Liverpool shirt.”

Anyone who has actually spoken to Mark will have picked up on his Brummie accent.

Anyone that knows Mark well might be aware that he and his mates used to hang out with a “hot cup of orange squash in a glass” at Mr Egg.

Anyone who has taken any time to actually know the chap will have picked up on the fact that he’s a committed Aston Villa fan - and a very excited one, given that MBNA-rich Randy Lerner has bought the club from the tight-fisted octogenarian, Doug Ellis.

Anyone who runs a Fantasy Football League competition for journalists, especially one in which Mark participates, would, also, presumably, be aware of such a basic fact.

Anyone that knows him might also be aware that Mark is not one for throwing free alcohol down his neck, as Rainier’s diatribe suggests.

Word has it that Mark is as sick as a parrot and will be seeking early doors at Rainier’s next party unless it pulls its football socks up….

16 comments:

Stephen Davies said...

Yep, the only irony of the song is that none of the lyrics are ironic.

Anonymous said...

Rainier were quite right to try to prevent the man Samuels from getting into their gig wearing a football shirt - of any type.

Anyone who wears a branded football shirt as 'leisure wear' should be severely beaten, in my opinion...

Anonymous said...

Christ

Mark Samuels said...

I don't remember being prevented entry to a Rainier PR event – I'm sure the very decent people at that particular organisation would never bar a well-meaning technology journalist.

What about wearing football tops to PR events?

Well, I have never – and would never – wear a Liverpool shirt. Christ. My old man would never forgive me. I'm literally so Aston that my Grandad's father remembers the Villa playing at Perry Barr in the 1890s (blah, blah, yawn…).

What about wearing football tops as leisure wear?

Well, right now I am wearing a Steaua Bucuresti hoodie. Its nastiness is quite remarkable – and yet somehow, it is stunningly beautiful.

But what about wearing football tops in a professional situation – is that sensible?

No, it's rubbish.

You seem to be interviewing yourself. Why?

I started writing my response in this contrived manner and am now stuck with it.

Steve Earl said...

Forty lashes, for I am the guilty party. Mark I am sure you were wearing a Carlsberg era Scouse shirt, which is probably why I thought it was so odd. Maybe my failing eyes deceived me, after all it was late. Maybe I have been fantasising about you dressed in various Premiership strips. Maybe I am really David Mellor.

And it was us lot wot had to have a word with the staff - the fools who now run what was Mezzo - to let you in. Why the chunky chap on the door thought footy shirts were not appropriate for watching a footy game is beyond me.

Anyway, I am endebted to this wonderful blog for pointing out the error of my ways. I am being forced to wear a Villa shirt to work all week as an extreme form of punishment.

Anonymous said...

maybe it was former Computing Business editor - and worse team in merseyside supporter - Bryn G. Lick?

Mark Samuels said...

Steve, thanks to your fulsome explanation I now recall the event. It was a couple of months back and it was during the World Cup. I was wearing an England shirt, not a Liverpool shirt.

Those burly types on the door at Mezzo were none too keen on my top. And if you also remember, I started to strip off at the entrance (top only, of course). The bouncers, as it happens, were even less keen on me entering sans clothing.

Eventually, common sense prevailed. And I was eventually allowed in to the venue in my England top to act like a child with some of my chums from the happy world of technology journalism.

I think, however, your punishment should stand. Due to your lazy reporting, I stand accused on the Rainier PR Briefs of being a Liverpool fan – and such a stain could prove difficult to remove.

So, enjoy wearing the claret and blue. Up the Villa!

Anonymous said...

It's a good job you didn't get the edible panties out of your bag Mark!

Mark Samuels said...

Another explanation methinks…

Before arriving at Rainier's Mezzo event, I went to Text 100's screening of the England v Trinidad & Tobago match at Sound. Kindly Text 100 provided a bag of goodies, including the England (Liverpool) shirt and edible panties (my God, what a porno-like word that is).

The, ahem, pants are currently in a cupboard in my kitchen. I recently tried to make my Mum eat them when she came to visit – but she didn't.

....the world's leading.... said...

Mark mate...in the Premier League of 'things that happen in your life that should remain private', trying to make your Mum eat edible panties is a dead cert for a Champions' League place...

Mark Samuels said...

Oh yeah? Well, you should hear the details of the sordid encounter between Silicon's Andy McCue, an electric whisk and a Branick's Rat.

Yikes. Sends a shiver down my spine just thinking about it…

Anonymous said...

Given the nature of the occasion, I can understand the rationale behind Text 100 supplying a freebie England shirt to its guests.....but can anyone shed any light on the thinking behind the edible panties...????

Bryan Glick said...

In the spirit of football banter, I just thought I should add to the reply from anonymous (that would be anonymous of Dow Jones, I strongly suspect...;-) that, as I write, wait until tomorrow (saturday 9/9) to determine the best team in Merseyside...

And yes, as anon of Dow Jones reports, I did once receive a letter hilariously addressed to Mr Bryan G. Lick. Even more amazingly, it wasn't from a PR distribution list. Any tickets for Liverpool matches that arrive chez Computing addressed to someone vaguely identifiable as me will still be gratefully received.

(And finally, due credit to Rainier for apologising to Mark by sending him a genuine brand new Villa shirt by way of recompense! But we did have to put up with him wearing it in the office, although it is slightly less blinding than his aforementioned Steaua Bucharest hoodie).

Anonymous said...

Rainier have given in too easily in my opinion. They should have sent him a West Ham shirt instead - it is the same colour after all, and the irony might have raised a smile...

Anonymous said...

The problem with putting things in a blog Mr Bryan G.Lick is that they come back to bite you, like Mark's mum or a Branick's rat let lose on some edible panties . 3-0, 3-0, 3-0. Anon of Dan and Jane's Newswires

Mark Samuels said...

Sending an ironic West Ham shirt would not have raised a smile; it would have created a pool of tears.

And the cheeky chappies from Rainier did include an ironic cover note, saying they hoped the Liverpool shirt made up for their mistake…

A good point, meanwhile, about the Branick's bite (an animal that is otherwise known as a paca).

To quote Wikipedia:
Pacas live in forested habitats near water, preferably smaller rivers and dig simple burrows about 2m below the surface, usually with more than one exit. They are good swimmers and usually head for the water to escape danger. Their diet includes leaves, stems, roots, seeds, and fruit, especially avocadoes, mangoes and zapotes. They sometimes store food.

Hmmm, zapotes. 'Get your teeth out for the pacas', as football fans probably chant in the Branick's homeland of Paraguay.